Friday, February 8, 2013

Learning to feel Our Savior's Love...



"Great is our Lord, and of great power; his understanding is infinite" -Psalms 147:5

I have been sitting here thinking of how to say all that I feel and that is in my mind...James and I (and Abbe) have clearly been thru a lot these past few days but we also have been so humbled to the hundreds of people that have expressed their love, anguish, support, service, fasting and prayers for us...Never have I experienced anything like it...I am beyond grateful.

Never in our lives have we felt so unbelievably Humbled...We feel that Heavenly Father has used all of this anguish to bring so many closer to the Savior...We have had so many that have fasted and prayed with us, many not of our faith, many who have never met us, some that are not necessarily religious, and many that have never prayed before...We know that Heavenly Father has used Emerson as a tool for His good and His Glory... He has gathered so many together to feast upon His word and will...Emerson has only been on the Earth a few weeks and already thousands of people know who he is and how absolutely beautiful he is...

"The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth" 
-Psalms 145:18

Emerson has now been placed with Jules' cousins and we feel peace about this and we are so Blessed to have had Emerson during the time he just came here from Heaven...We have forgiven Jules fully, and know that even though we won't be raising little Emerson here that he is still connected to us somehow...For that we are Eternally grateful...

He is so beautiful and we are glad that he has such a loving family with little siblings who will love him dearly and love the Gospel...We so ask Heavenly Father to Bless them and watch over Emerson...This experience has been such a testament to us of the Saviors unending love for us...I know sometimes that we are not aware of why things happen the way they do here in this life, but we do know we will know all of Heavenly Fathers plan when we return to Him...

"Every word of God is pure; he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him"   
- Proverbs 30:5

Many at this time may be asking if this means we are scared to adopt now?  The answer is no. They may ask if we still want to adopt now or soon again?  The answer is yes.  We know we were supposed to have Emerson for his first few weeks of life and we will cherish those weeks forever...but we know other children and we must continue to press forward.  We will be doing all that we can to find them.  Emerson will always have a special spot in our family, we will always love him dearly and another child will never take his place because they will have their own place just like Abbe has her place.

In closing, I am going to share something that a dear friend of my sister's shared with her for us...It is absolutely beautiful and we are so grateful for her profound outlook and feelings for us and Emerson...

"Life works in mysterious ways. One day we've conquered a mountain, the next we've tumbled down a hill. We never know when something truly great is about to happen and always seem to forget about the wonderful things when something seemingly terrible happens. Here is one note to remember: hidden blessings are the most difficult to accept. 

An infants first days, weeks, and months in the world are his most critical. He must adjust in moving from one world to another. This is a transition that no individual will ever remember going through, but it is something that impacts our lives and will shape who we become. During Baby Emerson's first weeks in this world he experienced the Love and guidance from a family who prayed and waited for him. 

What if Emerson hadn't met the Little family? Would he have been cherished as much? Swaddled as much? Watched over as much? No one one this Earth will ever be able to answer these questions. All one can do is Hope. We will always be faced with obstacles and Hope challenges us to discover new strengths and possibility within ourselves and others. 

To the Little family: your strength, devotion, and Love will always carry on triumphantly. Although Baby Emerson may not remember it, you have done more for him in his infancy than he may ever know in his whole life. Never underestimate the power you have given him just by Loving him.

To Baby Emerson: you are so young and you have already experienced more love than many will know in a lifetime. My hope is that the universe will continue to work in ways that will enhance the Love and blessings that surround you.

We may not know why we walk in and out of a persons life but there is a reason. We should all learn from the Little family to have the best intentions when we enter someones life. We may not know why we met them or how we impacted them, we should just know that we did. This calls for tremendous strength and courage and Love.
As a final note I would like to share a blessing. It is a Jewish tradition that every Friday night before the Sabbath dinner the parents give the following blessing to their children:
May God bless you and guard you.
May God show you favor and be gracious to you.
May God show you kindness and grant you peace.
Never forget the Love you receive and the Love you give out. It is the most important possession we have with us on Earth."

7 comments:

Jeanne Boulware said...

wow no one is better suited to raise children! Your perspective is amazing

Suzy Killebrew said...

You are truly amazing Deanna... I hold you and your family in high regard...

Anonymous said...

You are truly amazing Deanna... I hold you, James and Abbie in high regard. Xoxo Suzy K.

Sally Teodoro said...

These are some of the most beautiful and inspiring words I have ever read. Your courage and faith is beyond amazing. How blessed you all are to know that Heavenly Father has a grand purpose in all that happens in life. I am grateful to know you Deanna!

Jer and Cam said...

I can't imagine going through what your family has gone through. Our love and prayers go out to you guys. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. Your insight is so clear and you have inspired me to look at the trials and challenges that I face in a positive light. Your incredible faith and strength are beyond inspiring!

Lindsey from The R House said...

We got to be a little boy's parents for 3 days after taking him back to his biological mother. Something that helped me get through was this quote from The Odd Life of Timothy Green:

“If you came to me and said ‘there are two people in the world who want you more than anything; they’ll do their best, they’ll make some mistakes, and you’ll only get them for a short time, but they will love you more than you can ever imagine.’ Well, when that’s true, I’d say ‘so much is possible.’”

Hugs!

Susann Crawford said...

You and your family are a shining beacon and I am grateful for you sharing your journey. I know in my heart that very soon you will be expanding your family again and I agree with your sister's friend, Emerson was blessed to have your immense love, caring and faith to surround him for the time he was with you. Any and every child that is a part of your family is blessed. Thank you.

What's mine is yours...

Amazing Birth-mother video of her placement....

Such a Time as this...