I know many of you out there have probably thought I dropped off the earth in the past few months since I have gone absent from the blog world for some time...Not the case at all but I just haven't been up to blogging about this subject for a while and still honestly kinda don't want to since it is painful for me but figure I should say something...This has just been really hard to deal with...not being placed with yet...still never getting pregnant...everyone around us becoming pregnant (some without trying/some with barely trying/some not even wanting to be)...or the fact that we still haven't been placed with...yeah I know "pity party"...sorry...
I just haven't been able to deal or think about any of this lately because it just hurts to much and if I feel like this I just avoid what ever I don't want to deal with at all costs (not sure if that has always been best but it has always been my survival mechanism)...so there you have it...Because of this I have been working alot on me...getting through this challenge/struggle/trial/ whatever you call it has taken a real toll on my confidence/feelings/ and my ability to feel optimistic about people and circumstances...I have had to focus my time elsewhere for the moment for my sanity and luckily we have started a new business that has been helping me stay distracted. Distraction is and always has been a good thing for me...
Now, I know for those of you that read this and know me personally, please do not take this post as a reason to feel sorry for me or try to come up to me and try to comfort me...I am not wired like that and sometimes it makes me feel worse (since it stirs up the feelings) and I don't really like it. Sometimes, I just need to say how I feel to get it off my chest and go forward and I think that is what this is...
1 comment:
Thanks for the update, I have been wondering how you are doing. I appreciate the time you took to fill us in. I guess we will see what the future holds.
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